Here comes the Bride

Are you ready for marriage? Do you know what a Biblical marriage is all about, and the requirements that go with it?

If your desire is to be married, no doubt you have been dreaming of your wedding day since you were a little girl – with great anticipation! By the time we are of a marrying age, most of us already know the colors we want at our wedding, the kind of cake we want, the style of dress we want, how we want to wear our hair – we know the intricate details of our special day and how we want it to play out. We spend hours and hours dreaming, thinking and planning for this special day, but sadly, many of us give little thought and little preparation to the most important part of all –your life together that comes after the wedding day. It’s not the “things” on the day that make a marriage. No. It’s the preparation you put into it beforehand that makes the road an easier one. Marriage is the joining and welding together of two people, two histories, two destinies and two families, therefore it is imperative that we are ready and prepared for what that entails.

As single women, we are to be busy training and grounding ourselves in what it is to be a wife who is more valuable than rubies, that when a man finds her, he finds a good thing.  To do this, you need to understand that you were made for a man – handpicked by God – and that you have to learn the principles of being a wife before you are one.

Do you know what a godly man is looking for in a godly woman?  He is not looking for someone to mother him.  He is not looking for a ‘pretty decoration’.  He is not looking for a baby-sitter or a nanny.   He is not looking for someone who can fill his stomach and help him spend his money.  No.   He wants a God-fearing woman.  A woman who is Kingdom-minded with a vision for God’s agenda.  He wants a woman who will walk through the uncertainty of life with him – one who will provide helpful insight and offer solutions to challenges and problems – solutions that come from an intelligent mind that is submitted to godly wisdom.  He is looking for a life partner, a counterpart, who will faithfully stand alongside him in his calling.   He wants a ministry partner, a business partner with an entrepreneurial mind.  He wants a place where his heart can find rest after a battle weary day. You are called to be his help-meet.  Prepare to be that woman.  Prepare to be a woman who speaks well of your future husband, a woman of submission and respect, one who helps him to run the Christian race with excellence, one who encourages him and one who is a help, not a hindrance.

Pray for your future husband, even though you don’t know who he is.  It’s a priceless gift to give and the duty of a faithful wife.  Don’t start when you say “I do”, start now!  Pray for him in his spiritual walk, his emotions, his role as a future husband and father, his manhood, his decision-making abilities, his calling/destiny, his health, finances, protection, wisdom and faith.  Pray for your meeting, as well as your future marriage and godly seed that will come forth from your union.  Thank God daily for the man He’s handpicked for you – praise God in your waiting.

How do you prepare to be a wife whose price is far above rubies?

A practical starting point for preparation and cultivation is at home. Start with your relationship with your father.  Learn to respond rightly to your father’s instructions and guidance and assist him in his vision and calling.  Pray for him. Listen to him.   Learn from him. Your family is your training ground for marriage. Without a doubt, we take into our future marriage habits, patterns, practices and tendencies that are formed during our time at home with our families.  This time at home is a perfect opportunity to grow into beauty of character, respect, submission, knowledge, strength, patience, gentleness, kindness, spiritual refinement, excellent home-making skills, and all the Christian graces and virtues of a godly woman.  Be a woman of excellence.

Study the Bible to see what God’s view of marriage is.   It’s quite different from what our culture tells us.  We already know that marriage is the normal state of man, because, according to God, it is not good for man to be alone. (Gen. 2v18).  Marriage should not be based on the weak bonds of feelings, but rather, it is a divine ordinance – a God-ordained covenant made between man and woman, before God.  A covenant is life-long.  Marriage is an institution that is central to the Kingdom of God, where husband and wife, together in covenant, are called to subdue the earth, exercise dominion over it, and to be fruitful and to multiply.

An important factor is to ensure that you’re not walking into marriage blindly, thinking it will solve all your problems and make you happy for the rest of your days. If anything marriage highlights and magnifies all our fault-lines, so be sure to do business with God in these matters.

Be a daughter of obedience.  Don’t offer the Lord that that costs you nothing. Make your goal in life to hear the words “Well done my good and faithful servant” at the end of your days. Consider your thoughts, purify your heart, and speak life.  Cultivate obedience, righteousness, inner beauty, godly character, integrity and wisdom.  Be sure to conform your life to the commandments of God.  Wisdom will keep you safe and guard your soul and mind. The beginning of wisdom is the fear of the Lord.

Keep your lamps trimmed and burning.  Be ready in season and be ready out of season. God knows your season and He knows the day and hour that He will join you to your hand-picked hubby-to-be.  Just as Ruth was gleaning in the fields when Boaz noticed her – he was intrigued, she was hard at work.  Ruth gained the reputation of being a worthy and noble woman and Boaz took her to be his wife.  This season of singleness is vital in preparation for the next season which is the gift of a God-ordained and God-glorifying marriage.   Don’t waste the season you’re in!

And finally, draw close to Christ.  Put Him first in all things.  Seek Him with your whole heart and live daily to glorify Him.  He loves it when we mean business and take the things that are important to Him, and make them important to us.  Make His ways, your ways, and His standards, your standards. “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart”. Psalm 37v4

Images Copyright to Stephanie Durksen

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